Who called me an old lady?

If someone tells you that old people don’t know how to have fun, just stick with me for a while.  I cannot speak for men, but there are some things you can get away with as an old lady that you simply couldn’t do when you were younger.  When you get older, people don’t only think you are losing your shape, mind, and ability to kick up a heel or two, they think everything about you leaves.  They just seem to think getting old means you don’t like the better things in life.  One time my aunts and cousin got together and the subject of sex came up.  Someone asked my Aunt Alberta, “At what age do you no longer want sex?”  Auntie was about 75 then and replied, “You’ll have to ask someone older than me”.

Just in case you are in that frame of mind, let me explain something to you.  There are more old men reading girly magazines and subscribing to sex online than there are young men.  If a poll was taken of old men, they would find that “the dangerous age” begins at 60 and continues (if they live that long).  You would be surprised how many old women are looking for love online too.  You see, after retirement you have plenty of time to think about things. Older people need to find things of interest to keep themselves busy (so they don’t get into trouble).

Older people bounce checks, don’t pay bills, lie and cheat.  When I was young, for some reason I believed when you got old, you just wouldn’t do those things.  It would be great if it were true that when you got old all of your bad habits would end and life would be smooth sailing.   I can remember studying a course on economics that said older people didn’t need much money.  Well, that was a lie. You may not have children to support, but now you are supporting your local pharmacist, doctor and health food store!

Every statement should be verified.  If you have parents or friends over 60, just look in their medicine cabinet!  They have all sorts of things in there intended to give them a fast start.  The older generation has made Geritol one of the leading potions sold in the 50’s.  Geritol had better sales figures than Maalox or Milk of Magnesia.  Looking back to my childhood, my grandfather purchased some Geritol and hid it from my grandmother.  He wanted her to think his new found energy was natural.  I never will forget when he told my grandmother that he felt so good he wanted to start their love anew.  Well, my grandmother was the mother of 12 children. This was of no interest to her!  If she had known about the Geritol  she would have gotten rid of it.  I wonder what grandma would say about Viagra and Cialis?  These days, women are not like my grandma.  Men are not the only ones looking for rejuvenation and resurrection!

Thoughts don’t change according to age; it is the ability to act on those thoughts that changes.  Do you want me to give you an example?  Well, here it is, and I want you to notice this when you go out today.  When a young girl passes, an old man’s first reaction is to hold in his stomach.  Then he turns his head around.  When he was young he would turn his whole body around to take a better look at who just walked past him. Not only that, he would make a comment.  An older guy makes silent moves.  The same thing happens with older women.  When you are young, you slowly walk past a good looking guy, moving very seductively in that hip shaking glide with your chest up high.  When a woman gets older, she stands in one place and tries to look elegant and sophisticated.  She’ll just stand with a look of arrogance and that wonderful warm half- seductive, half -motherly smile (trying to look experienced but not too worn out).

What makes people think that if you are over 60 and think about a good looking man or a good looking woman, you’re a dirty old person?  I am about fed up with this age discrimination and stereotyping. Getting older is mellowing with age.  You become more experienced.  What it took you 10 minutes to do now takes twenty minutes.  That is not because things are more difficult or that you don’t have energy.  You just learn how to savor the opportunity and conserve your energy.

The fact is age does not make you lose your desire; it just slows down your ability to act on it.  That is why companies making products that promise to restore “youth” make so much money.  The word “youth” means energy.

If older people were not interested in anything, a lot of industries would go broke.  Abraham in the bible got his wife Sarah pregnant.  She was 90 and he was 100.  I don’t know if there are any Abrahams and Sarahs around these days.  I think we have been convinced, for some reason, that aging means you are no longer interested in life’s pleasures.  In fact the direct opposite is true; when you get older you start pursuing life!  Visit some of the gyms during the day in the United States and you will see older people working hard to fight back the ravages of time.  I am in this group.  It is a big job trying to keep things from bagging and sagging.   I never really knew what gravity was until I was 55.  Not only that, other things start happening to your body. Who would have thought of eye lids drooping and breasts trying to find a new position under your arm? Everything seems to take a rest.

When you are old or getting old you have not lost interest; it is just that you need something to help you get a head start.  You cannot afford to move fast.  It takes preparation mentally so you can respond physically.  Your mind races on and tells you that you can do things but it takes a few minutes for the rest of your body to get the message.  I love music and I love to dance. When I’m in the gym and they play music with that jungle beat, my body wants to move and I DO move.  But when you get older you find out that your body actually sets up rebellion against your mind.  It is not that you don’t like things but it does take you longer to activate.  Your body and mind seem to take on the attitude of the Senate and Congress!  Your body parts have their own political agenda and they just will not compromise.  That is why products that energize, smooth out, hold up and stimulate are well supported by the older generation.

When I think about some of the older people I´ve known in my life, many seemed to be sitting and waiting for that day when they would die.  It is almost like they sat still for it.  I’ve been looking in the bible for the verses that say when you get old you stop everything.  I just wondered if God dictated an age limit for love and romance.  I’ m wondering at what stage in man’s evolution he started getting old at 45?  What may have been said to convince us human beings that life ends at 60; that you start going downhill?

I’M NOT CONVINCED!  The older I get, the more I want.  When I get up in the morning, each day is a wonderful day.  When you get older you realize that you actually do have more money than time. At least that is my philosophy. It is possible to count your money but it is impossible to count the time you have.  One of these days, sooner rather than later, you will be moved to the next level.    You begin to realize how important people are and how important life is.  Food tastes better, sex is better, everything is better.  You may not eat as much and you may not have sex as often, but when you do, it is better.  My father told me that when things in life get really good, it is almost time to leave.

Join me here in Paradise, Costa Rica, and let’s enjoy getting old together!   Aging is fun, but getting old is a pain in the……….  Oh, yeah.

Jeanetta Owens

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